Come and have a go: are you being served?



We all know what we like and what we don’t when it comes to being served. Whether it’s shops, restaurants, department store tea rooms or direct investment platforms we know what we want. And just because we don’t have an adviser doing it for us doesn’t mean we will accept an elasticated-waist, one-size-fits-all world.

But do we really know what we want? And even if we do, do we know how to get it?

These are the questions around which the lang cat’s fourth, yes, fourth – annual guide to direct platform investing is artfully constructed.

We tackle those tricky questions and more (ever wondered how squirrels invest? We’ve got your back) behind the wobbly facade of the Lang Cat Bros department store, where you might spot a few familiar faces.

Today’s bargains include:

  • How to work out what part of the growing direct investment market might be the one for you.
  • A new segmentation of the online investment market, to help us all make sense of what robo-advice means, or doesn’t.
  • What the platforms in each segment actually do, how they do it and what they charge for the privilege.
  • Who’s doing what, with whom and to what effect across the direct platform market.
  • A selection of the frankly ridiculous volume of current regulatory updates (including the final report of the FCA’s Asset Management Market Study).
  • Our awards, still mercifully free of Black-Tie-Lacklustre-Comedian-And-Mass-Catering events.
  • And cat pictures. Really, really disturbing ones.



We’re all too happy to help, Sir/Madam. It’s free to download which means no adverts, pop-ups or someone standing at the till asking if you’d be interested in any of today’s specially priced offers. We have no adverts, no sponsors and no ulterior motives.

Our webstore is still fairly new, so you might not have an account yet. That’s easily rectified – just follow the instructions and you’ll soon be the owner of a brand new account where all your downloads are stored. Returning shoppers who already have an account just have to remember their pa55w0rd and log in.

Now, this isn’t small print but it is important. Once you’ve created your account and checked out you’ll see a link to download your copy of the Guide. It’s really rather small so try not to miss it. Your link will also reach you by email so keep an eye out for it. And check your Spam and Clutter folders if it doesn’t show up.


We hope you enjoy the Guide. We think it’s our best one yet.